A Nationals-less Nationals

Today the biggest competition in U.S. ultimate begins - Nationals. 4 days of intense playing. 4 days of seeing people that you only get to see a few times a year. 4 days of hanging out tons with your team. It's basically one of my favorite weekends of the year. And I am not there. Sometimes I really miss America.

For the last 5 years, this weekend has been what I have geared up for from April-October. From April-October I have practiced every weekend, worked out during the week, and scheduled my life around the last weekend in October. And this year - nothing. Well, there was Europeans at the end of September. But that just means that the last month, sans frisbee, has been all the more difficult.

I talked to a few of my friends yesterday as they were driving to/flying to/already in Sarasota. And it made me so homesick. My friend Mak says the thing she misses most is stepping out of the car on Thursday morning, seeing the fields, and having that antsy nervous anticipatory feeling in her stomach. And I totally understand that feeling. I am not sure what I will miss most. Right now I am just missing that feeling of "team." I'm thinking about how when I was on Ozone we used to climb into the hot tub at the Bay Club at night and just chill with folks from other teams. And how on Fury we would cook dinner all together every night and hang out in one of our giant luxury houses.

Then I also will really just miss the frisbee. I love the feeling of getting "called into the game" by a coach. And I love looking across the line, seeing who my matchup is, and thinking (particularly with some players) how great it is going to be when I d them or score on them or, because i know they are a BIT emotional, make them lose their cool and scream at their own teammates. And I also love being on the sideline and yelling at someone on my team the whole point, helping her get a d or at least making sure that she is in the right position. I also love the feeling of doing something right that maybe no one knows I did. Clearing space for someone else so that they can easily score. Setting a mark in just the way we've been practicing. Poaching off for just a sec to deter a break throw from going up.

And then the post-frisbee. A beer in the beer garden with someone I haven't seen in 6 months. Walking around the fields (generally with Casey) and looking for mutual friends that we can run up and hug. Seeing people there from Atlanta that have just come down to watch unexpectedly. Going to the beach and watching the waves. Partying on Sunday night at the DD. The absurdity of fury on Sunday afternoon/evening. Telling each other how much we love each other. Fury trivia. Playing chunk of rubber. Being introduced to a million different people that I won't remember. Running into awkward people that I have only met once and don't really remember.

It might be a long few days...