I think part of the thing about being a busy person is that it is really hard when I find myself at slower points in life to just stop and enjoy them instead of thinking I should be doing something with my time. Yesterday I super overslept and missed a coffee date with a friend. Even though we talked, and she said it was cool and we could just do it later, the adrenaline that I had yesterday morning as soon as I woke up (that awful "oh no! I'm late and I need to hurry" feeling) didn't really leave my for several hours. Even though I had nowhere to be and nothing particular to do, it took all of my willpower to realize that it was totally acceptable to just make a pot of tea, curl up with my crossword book, and watch some speedskating on TV. I finally slowed down, but it was impossible to make myself enjoy doing something like that all day.
Instead, after a few hours of chilling, I decided it was totally necessary to "get going" and buy some clothes that I have wanted/needed since getting here. It was a fun afternoon - an afternoon of tackling some of my least favorite things in life: shopping, being in crowds, and not being totally sure about where I was going. But I found some shoes that made me excited. And, I tackled the whole shopping thing really really well. But this morning, when I woke up again rather late (this time not needing to be anywhere or do anything) it hit me again - this sense of urgency to go somewhere or be useful in some way.
Yes - I do have a list of things that I need to get done in the upcoming week or so. But no - none of them are that important. Why is it impossible for me to wake up and think, "whoa- I could spend the whole day by myself, away from the computer, away from friends, just reading and relaxing and enjoying alone it." It is like it's againsts my DNA or something. This ability to sit. And, it drives me crazy. I want to be able to sit and enjoy myself alone (or even with friends - just hanging out without feeling like we have to be doing something). But I think it is quite difficult to actually put into action. Or maybe put into inaction.
Is this an American thing? Is this a me thing? Or a Wilson thing? I am not really sure. I know my mom and I are quite similar, and I know sometimes it is difficult for her to just sit, without feeling like she should be doing something. But I am not sure if it just the 2 of us or most people around us. Hmmm...
With that being said, I have 45 minutes before I have to leave to meet my friend (trying again) for coffee. Getting offline now to go drink a pot of tea.
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2 comments:
Hey Katie, I had no idea you were off on another adventure until I checked your blog this week! It sounds really exciting, though at times I am sure frustrating being plunged into another language and culture like that. I will pray you learn the language very quickly and can communicate easily with the children. Keep your sense of humor! By the way I have trouble sitting and relaxing as well, but I thought it was a Smith thing as my husband has no problem at all doing that! I guess it could have been handed down from my dad or my mom as they are as hard to keep up with as you! I love you Katie and would love to see pictures or where you are living. Love and hugs, Jill
Hi Kate -- first, it's so great to see you're off on another adventure and making the most of life =) I had no idea you were out of country though! I saw your facebook "25 things about me" and then linked from there to your blog as I put the pieces together, and I can only say that you're going to have a blast while you're there. Things will drag and get frustrating -- it's incredible how much of an emotional rollercoaster ride it is to live abroad -- but keep your chin up and enjoy every day, in every way, and you'll be good.
Stay well!
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