i feel like i have been really neglectful of my blog lately. it is really not because I don't have time to write in it. or because i don't have subjects i am interested in writing on. i just can't really seem to articulate thoughts so well these days. i can't seem to make coherent stories lately.
i also wonder if it is because my life is highly undramatic right now, so i just don't have any absurd dramatic stories to tell. i feel stable. happy. definitely wondering about where i will be after next january, but still stable and relaxed. this whole au pair thing might actually be calming me down.
i get 7-9 hours of sleep every night (who knew the day would come when i get REALLY grumpy because i only got 7 hours of sleep? 7 hours of sleep used to be the most i would get!). i have finished 2 books in the last week and am partially through a 3rd. i had 2 coffee dates this week with cute moms in the area - one, an American mom whose kids go to the same school where my kids go. the other, a hilarious german woman from my dutch class. my room is seriously clean almost always, because i actually have time to do things like dust and vacuum. i play frisbee 2 days a week. i go everywhere on my bike. i sit out in the garden and practice dutch.
really - i think the worst part of my life is that i am at the mercy of someone's else's clock. i don't pick my own vacations. i don't decide what time i get off work. these are annoying at times, but since i have vacation about every 2 weeks lately, and since i am always off within an hour-1.5 hours of when i am supposed to be, i can't really complain.
this is definitely not something i can do forever. i want to be intellectually stimulated in the workplace, i want to be able to carry on a full conversation at my job (it is quite frustrating to still not speak great dutch...), i want to be doing something that is slightly less emotionally draining (i struggle so much with how to treat the kids and how to not take it personally when they don't really like me...). but it is great for now. it is great for me to breathe. to enjoy. and, hopefully soon, to have the time (but still not feel a great amount of pressure) to start to really consider what i want to do next.
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1 comment:
Great to hear from you. I am glad your Dutch is coming along. Remember kids aren't supposed to "like" their nanny/mom/dad. You are not their best friend. I do wish you would post some pictures. Are you taking any?
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