Coaching

equals stress.

It's amazingly rewarding. I really really love my girls.

But who in the world knew I would devote so much of my time and energy (mostly mental) to thinking about Luna (the Emory womens ultimate team that I am currently coaching)?

We just had our first spring semester tournament in Florida. 6 hours in a van with 10 girls on Friday. 5 games on Saturday. 5 episodes of Glee-watching on Saturday night. 4 games on Sunday. 6 hour van ride with the same 10 girls on Sunday. Exhausting. And awesome.

I love my girls. I want them to succeed so badly. I haven't really figured out exactly what "succeed" means. My competitiveness definitely wants them to win. I still haven't figured out yet if that's what they want. I'm still figuring out how to reach them.

In some ways I think a lot of being a good leader is really believing in yourself, in your system, and just getting people to buy into it. Whether or not it's the "best" system on paper might not be as important as getting everyone to think it is. But that means I am never really allowed to show weakness or to say something like, "hey - it's my first time really calling lines for a team. especially a team with THIRTY girls on it!" I don't ever get to say out loud, "oh man. I have no idea if I should keep playing my vets right now or if I should give my rookies more experience." That part is potentially the most challenging.

Luckily I really believe my system is the "best" (on paper and in real life)! So that helps! But, still, motivating and encouraging and pushing for lots of individuals. Exhausting. So now I am at work. Unfocused. Unmotivated. And really anxious to spend some more time with my stat sheets looking at how we do when certain combinations of people are in. Who am I these days?